My boss dared to yell at me ...

Recently I have felt kind of bad for screwing with my boss so I have been going a little above and beyond at work; Getting some extra projects done and taking the lead on the prep for our annual meeting that starts on Sunday. It is great because it is close enough that I can drive, but far enough that I get a hotel room. Open bar every night and 3 catered meals a day. Sure I am busy the whole time but still in general it is a good time.

Not quite THIS good of a time  ;)

Well today as I was packing up the projector and screen to transport to the conference center, my boss gave me grief in a raised voice in front of several other employees about how I was packing up the equipment. While I know for a fact he was just venting towards me for something someone else did to piss him off, after all the work I put into our big meeting next week I was not about to take that from someone that should have been heaping praise on me for my extra work lately.

NOT COOL !

So I Just finished putting together some programs on a thumb drive, and on Sunday when I am in the office (more extra work) packing up everything I am hauling over to the meeting I will pop into his office, run 1 program to disable all of his spyware protection and 1 program that will infect his computer with a spyware downloader  

Then I will go away for the rest of the week, unable to get back to the office until NEXT Monday… bastard. 

The best reasons to learn spanish

What pisses you off?

A good day all around.

I broke in my new grill tonight with BBQ chicken and hot dogs. Throw in some potatoes and a ‘suddenly salad’ and I was off to the races with happiness. The grill worked well, I like the new grates over my old ones and the thermometer on the outside of the lid let me know when it got up to temperature. Now I have to plan on smoking my pork butt this weekend…

So many jokes about pulling my pork...

So let me tell you about the BBQ I went to on Father’s day... my good friends sister was there and she had on what I would call a completely inappropriate dress for the event.  It was basically a shirt, only longer, and every time she sat down or bent over she had to be careful to keep it down. But there were kids there running around and she played with them some.  It went up high enough on several occasions that I knew she either had on a high thong or nothing at all under it. In my head there was nothing under it  ;)

Not the same girl but I think thats the same dress from old navy... 

What is your favorite MEAT dish?
Vegans need not answer!

Am not dead yet…

But my air conditioner is…. More on that in a minute.

I had a great birthday on Saturday, I took my family to a baseball game. It was the first one my boys had ever been to.  We ate hot dogs and cracker jacks, I purchased them some foam fingers, and they had fireworks after the game… it was spectacular.

I love fireworks  ;)

We went to a good friends house for a father’s day cookout. Smoked chicken, ribs, wings, a huge spread for food. It is nice having a core group of long term friends that you can just hang out with, and have no worries about some of the petty stuff that comes along with more casual friends…

I wish!

So we get home from the party last night and the house is 79 degrees, not good since the thermo stat is set to 74… I call my neighbor over, he rips apart my unit and does some tests... an hour and a half later he says my compressor is going out. So I am home today going to purchase a new AC Unit… YAY! 

FML

I might die tonight….

So tonight I am going for a run... I have picked out a nice route that starts with a 5 minute walk to get up a nasty hill near me and then a 2 mile circuit back to my house…  It could be fun! Or I could have a massive coronary.

MAN DOWN!!!

I will (hopefully) update you on my status tomorrow, until then I present you with a few of my favorite things… 

1) Pour 1.5 Oz over a little ice and shake to chill. Serve strained in a rocks glass

the original and still the best

2) From the Dominican Republic

At least thats what my wrappers say  ;)

3) New York style is the only style.

I could die in a cheesecake factory. 

How about you? Favorite liquor, smoke or food?

Stripper on my deck...

Not this kind of stripper!

  So I stripped the old stain off my deck and am going to put down fresh this weekend.  It was a HUGE pain in the ass but totally worth it, the deck looks SO much better. When i fell back into a chair out in the sun soaking wet and tired, i did want to smoke, but luckily I don't have any so it only lasted for a second. Now I am looking on Oriental traders for some 4^th of July supplies, a need American flag bunting and other items of USA Pride.

So right down the street (like 5 miles) from my house in the great state of North Carolina is this sign:

You are safe until you hear banjos

That in and of itself is not that big of a deal, but right past that sign is this store:

I am going to be spending a ton of $$ here this year. 

They don't just sell the kiddy bottle rockets and sparklers here, SC lets you buy fireworks right up to the size where the federal government steps in to call them a weapon. 

Have you ever had the joy of letting off real fireworks? Ones that go THOOM when they light and BOOOOOM when they explode!

Let me explain my current state of happiness.

This is "Running naked through the streets" Happy...
(Dont get excited Jessica I am a middle aged guy on the other side of the planet!)

My twin sons started their first week of summer vacation yesterday. My wife is a teacher so she is home with them all summer. Next fall they will start kindergarten. So this will be the first year I don’t have a day care payment!! What, that is not impressive to you? Lets do some math....

I took and passed calc-3 in college and today couldn't even remember the basics... 

Daycares in my area run $150 – $225 per week, Not bad for a facility that watches your child for 6 – 10 hours a day, feeds them a meal and two snacks, and builds the educational and social foundation that will set the tone for there entire life. We picked a nice middle of the road priced facility that had higher educational standards. So I was paying $190 per week, per kid. That’s $380 a week… $1520 a month… with eight weeks off a year that’s $16,720 PER YEAR that I have been paying for the last 4 years and now I don’t have to anymore!

Ya its sort of like this

So with my extra money I purchased my first gift to my self last night: 

5 BURNER GAS GRILL WITH SMOKER

Primary cooking area 554 square inches

Secondary cooking area 140 square inches

Total cooking area 694 square inches

5 Stainless steel tube burners

10,000 BTUs each/50,000 BTUs total

12,000 BTUs stainless steel side burner

10,000 BTUs rotisserie burner

Porcelain-coated cast iron cooking grates

Porcelain-coated wire warming rack

Includes smoker inside left door

7,500 BTUs stainless steel smoker burner

Adjustable, chrome-plated cooking grates

Electronic ignition

One of the sexiest things I have ever posted on here.... 

What are YOUR plans for the 4th of July?

(Yes I know that is a very ethnocentric question but 90% of my audience is from the US so it is fair, but a big shout out to who ever it is from Brazil that keeps popping by!)

Smokes vs Gaming

So apparently I have swapped out my smokes for some console game time. And you wondered what I was going to do with all of the free time and money I got from quitting cigarettes.

I TOLD you it wouldn't be strippers.

Today I loaded up the 2^nd free game from Sony, Infamous. In games like this I always play the good guy. And I have to say, infamous is kind of sweet, defiantly a better version of crackdown. I’ve only played for 2 hours or so but I think I am going to like it. I already see why they made a sequel; some things just have that “awesome” vibe to them.

American MILF 1 left so much unanswered.

Now on to something near and dear to my heart. My local gas station has a program where you pay 7 bucks for a cup and you can refill it all summer long with ice or fountain drinks! Now the cup is about 20 OZ and I drive past this gas station at least once a day. So in the week I have had it I have filled it up 10 times... it is already worth it and technically summer does not start for another 2 weeks!

What makes you happy about the seasons changing??

Somehow, last night turned into a videogame marathon for me.

Now I love video games, I have spent years of my life (seriously, add up the hours and you will get YEARS) in front of PCs and consoles playing games. But as I get older, I dont think of my self as a gamer any more. But some things don't go away I guess.... 

My wife had tacos ready for dinner when I got home, they were just out of the box with some hamburger but she had the good shredded Mexican cheese so they were gooood. But right after dinner my boys wanted to play a new Scooby Doo game on the Wii that they got as a gift. So I played 1 chapter of the mystery with each of them, about 45 minutes each. It was cute and I am sure I will have many more hours playing it with them  ;)

It plays a lot like a Legos game

When we were done the wife took them upstairs for baths and I went out to putter in my garage for a bit. My neighbor J came down when he saw me outside and we got riled up for a game of Madden 2011, we are currently 29 wins for me and 31 wins for him in madden 11. He won last night to take a 2 game lead, I’ll get him next time. But our madden games take right about an hour plus I had to put new batteries in my 360 remotes because we have been playing at his house since I quit smoking.

I wish we could change the opening sequence to a better team!

 After he left I went inside and kissed the boys goodnight. And went to hang out in my room, my wife was reading, so I plopped down next to her, I couldn't find anything on TV so I fired up my ‘free from Sony play station network’ copy of little big planet (Thanks AnonSec!) and played on line for a few hours until we went to bed. It is a fun game and I spent almost an hour working on building a level  ;)

 Now if I ever bitch about not having time to get something done feel free to remind me about the time I somehow spent over 5 hours playing video games in 1 NIGHT!! Whilst still spending time with my kids, with my friends AND with my wife… Good times.

I lost track of the days….

Well on Friday it will be 4 weeks since I threw away the last of my smokes. I stopped in the gas station on the way to work today and didn’t even think about smokes so I am definitely moving in the right direction.

Secret: This is one of my favorite shows of all time.

Speaking of the right direction let me tell you about some hamburgers I made last night. These were absolutely the best burgers I have ever made at home, bar NONE.

1) I made my patties good sized, right about 4 inches in diameter and ½ inch thick.

2) Heat up a skillet to a good medium high and toss the burgers in, once they got a good brown crust on each side (about 2 minutes per side)  pull them out of the pan and set on a cutting board.

3) Pour the grease out of the pan and return it to the burner. Now add in a whole can of Campbell condensed French onion soup.

4) As soon as it starts to boil return the burgers to the pan, reduce the heat to low, cover and let simmer for 5 minutes, flip the burgers and cover for 5 more minutes.

5) Add Swiss cheese to the burgers and cover while you prep your buns.

6) Take your roll and add mayonnaise to the bottom slice, lay a piece of American cheese over the mayo lay the burger with its melted Swiss cheese on top of the American cheese add ketchup and the top roll…

Enjoy being whisked away to heaven.

Thats hot.

And I got a product suggestion from another blog out there... 

The Original ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron

The Annoy-a-tron generates a short (but very annoying, hence the name) beep every few minutes. Your unsuspecting target will have a hard time 'timing' the location of the sound because the beeps will vary in intervals ranging from 2 to 8 minutes. The 2kHz sound is generically annoying enough, but if you really really want to aggravate somebody, select the 12 kHz sound. Trust us. The higher frequency and slight 'electronic noise' built into that soundbyte will make a full-grown Admin wonder where his packets are.

For my boss.

I hope you are all having a good hump day!

So as one of the people that owns a PS3 but does not use it much for online gaming the Playstation network being down did not impact me very much. Basically I just watched my Netflix on the Wii and had to wait to get my LA Noire free with my preorder downloadable content… So last night when I got to log in and download two free games, AWESOME!

Almost but not QUITE as awesome as this.

I picked little Big Planet and Infamous be cause they both have sequels so they cant suck  ;) I haven’t played Infamous yet but Little big planet has a very British sense of humor so I love it already. I was kind of hoping some of you had played it and could offer up some tips  ;)

I am so much cooler then I should be...

And now to reply to some of the comments on yesterdays post:

Whiskey Girl - The fake ones are to firm to "Pop"

TexaGermaNadian - I am sorry but you are correct! 

Colin Biano - I just had an idea where you can take some pictures  ;)

The Happy Whisk - +1 internet for using the word Knockers  ;)

HiFi - Nope  ;)

A Beer for the Shower : I never said they were good looking.... 

Ally : Sorry, do you want less girls or more men? 

Patti D. : Not dirty just observant  ;)

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade : In the gym on the free weights WAY more often then you think  ;(

Banacek : I have seasons passes  ;)

Melanie : When i click on your name it says "Profile Not Available" and i can only ever get to your blog from my Blogger Buzz .... 

Magz Killgore : Hey every man likes to look, I am just honest about it! 

15-12

Well, the votes are in and I can keep saying that I quit 3 weeks ago! Yay!

HAPPY!

thanks for your input  ;)

As for my weekend, yesterday I took my kids to a water park. It is always fun and for the first time the boys were big enough to spend time in the wave pool. For those of you that don't go to wave pools they are super fun and a great place to people watch, ours is good for an average of 1 boob an hour. 

These are so fun!

Wait WHAT!?

Ya, you heard me right, the waves reach up to 10 feet above the bottom of the pool, with a crest to trough of 5 feet. So as you are lifted up and down and pushed around by the waves you will inevitably bump into other people around you. 

So the two most common sights I see are

1) the girl in a swim suit of the wrong size, either to small or to large, it does not matter, and the swirling waters and up and down forces cause a “pop out”. Yesterday I witnessed one where the bikini top was dragged up by a wave as the girl was going down, letting both out, and one where the one piece top was dragged down my a wave as the girl was standing up, causing the suit to drag down and let one pop out. 

She might not even need any help to pop out. 

2) After that comes the helpful friend

In all that water sooner or later a girl will be going up while a friend is coming down, or they will be horse playing and something will snag the girls top and “POP”

Thanks Lindsay!

I love the wave pool. 

Again with the margaritas!

So my wife took me out tonight to hang with a friend of ours. We ended up at a high class Mexican place. They have some amazing food… and margaritas specials…

I love you sooooo much

I ate to much again, I don’t think I ate a lot tonight, I think I was just still full from last night! We ended up sitting out on a patio drinking our drinks and one thing led to another and I found my self with a smoke in my hand. I am sad to say I enjoyed that cigarette greatly.

Me

But now that I am back home I have some serious guilt and now I am not sure if I am allowed to say I quit smoking 3 weeks ago or if I have to start counting again! So I added a pole to the right side bar over there... go ahead and vote and let me know.

As per our agreement here is your payment:

The best things in life... 

And for the ladies:

.... 

Have you ever eaten so much that your back hurt?

 For some reason today I have been hungry non stop. I had a breakfast burrito from jack in the box for breakfast, then I got to work and found we had Dunkin Donuts so I had a sour cream donut, then a coworker brought me in a chicken biscuit from chick-fil-a. That was all by 10am, so then on lunch I ran an errand and met some coworkers at Salsaritas where I had a Steak queso burrito with chips and salsa, then in the afternoon I had a Chocolate donut, and for dinner I had Outback Steakhouse cheese fries a wedge salad a baked potato and the 9oz filet crusted with blue cheese. That is like a 4 thousand calorie day…

I feel like this guy right now

So, now I am making plans for tomorrow. Coaching Baseball all morning and then I will be doing intensive yard work all day. Mowing, edging, and weeding. Trimming my trees and bushes back and working in my garden. If I keep my self less than 2K calories and do all the work I have on my list I should be able to offset today.  And at least be back on track to getting into shape.

I can look like him, I just need the girl... 

After a huge dinner, with a few drink specials in me, getting in my car and driving home was the most I have wanted a cigarette in weeks. The full stomach, the warm evening air, being in my car, having a few drinks in me... That was a little piece of hell.

 Uggg I am going to go sleep off these margaritas.

3 margaritas

Not enough sex...

So ya, I have been trying to watch Torchwood but I think if it does not pick up soon I am going to step out. It is at best a mediocre show with badly developed characters, poor story lines and unclear direction. And even the common sex scenes are off set by all the boys kissing each other.

She kills him... 

My wife was out late at a concert last night and I had a hard time getting to sleep in bed all alone... so not many dreams to report on today… but lets keep our fingers crossed for more good ones  ;)

Girls and games = WIN

We are going out to dinner tonight with some friends, but other then that I have no plans for the weekend so I will probably end up cleaning the house…

Please tell me some of you have better things going on so that I can live vicariously though you!?

My free time...

So I have been working on something in my free time...

I didn't want to say anything until I proved to my self I was going to stick with it...

http://how-to-tell-a-joke.blogspot.com/

Let me know what you think...

Not a great night.

So yesterday after work I stopped by my neighborhood pool to meet with the head guard and a repair guy who was coming out to tell us why the pool was so cloudy. He had just got there so we had to wait for him to check some things, and while we were waiting the guard lit up a cigarette. This was my first random run in with a smoker right next to me since I quit.

Smokes taste better on hot days  ;(

I was cool, I acted like it happened all the time and was no big deal. Honestly the smell of the smoke didn’t tempt me at all, it smelled kind of funky. It was watching someone engage in an activity that I am working so hard to deny my self. Like seeing someone eat cake when you are on a diet.  

I'd take a bite of THAT.

But I made it through, it wasn’t so much that it made me want a smoke, I was just really anxious being in that situation for the first time.

Not much else going on right now, but i do have t-ball practice tonight and it is supposed to be  95 degrees out. I am barely going to be able to have the kids do anything... But maybe a few of the hot moms will be in sun dresses... 

You know who loves Sun dresses?

Taylor Swift

Kristin Davis

Katy Perry

Chantix

So the medicine I have been taking to help me quit is called CHANTIX (Varenicline). CHANTIX is a non-nicotine pill. It targets nicotine receptors in the brain, attaches to them, and blocks nicotine from reaching them. The best part about it for ME was that as I was on it for 3 weeks before I quit smoking (and started this blog!) so during that time it because easer and easier to not smoke, it let me break my habits slowly and over time.  I firmly believe that this is the reason I am achieving the success in not smoking that I am enjoying right now. That and the support group I built from ya’ll  ;)

It really works. 

Now, there is a side effect to this medicine… The dreams.

Almost everyone on the medicine has reported very vivid dreams. And many people are reporting disturbing, violent and down right scary dreams. Even I find my self bolting up wide awake from dreams more on this medicine then I ever have before. And the dreams are so clear, they don’t fade away like most dreams do, these stay with you like they were ‘more real’.  Lucky for me I haven’t had any scary dreams, mine lean more towards the “adult themed” dreams of my youth.

Kind of like this.... 

Sometimes like this... 

A lot of this... 

I think you get the point ;)

And that leads me to my question... What do YOU dream about?