Somehow, last night turned into a videogame marathon for me.

Now I love video games, I have spent years of my life (seriously, add up the hours and you will get YEARS) in front of PCs and consoles playing games. But as I get older, I dont think of my self as a gamer any more. But some things don't go away I guess.... 

My wife had tacos ready for dinner when I got home, they were just out of the box with some hamburger but she had the good shredded Mexican cheese so they were gooood. But right after dinner my boys wanted to play a new Scooby Doo game on the Wii that they got as a gift. So I played 1 chapter of the mystery with each of them, about 45 minutes each. It was cute and I am sure I will have many more hours playing it with them  ;)

It plays a lot like a Legos game

When we were done the wife took them upstairs for baths and I went out to putter in my garage for a bit. My neighbor J came down when he saw me outside and we got riled up for a game of Madden 2011, we are currently 29 wins for me and 31 wins for him in madden 11. He won last night to take a 2 game lead, I’ll get him next time. But our madden games take right about an hour plus I had to put new batteries in my 360 remotes because we have been playing at his house since I quit smoking.

I wish we could change the opening sequence to a better team!

 After he left I went inside and kissed the boys goodnight. And went to hang out in my room, my wife was reading, so I plopped down next to her, I couldn't find anything on TV so I fired up my ‘free from Sony play station network’ copy of little big planet (Thanks AnonSec!) and played on line for a few hours until we went to bed. It is a fun game and I spent almost an hour working on building a level  ;)

 Now if I ever bitch about not having time to get something done feel free to remind me about the time I somehow spent over 5 hours playing video games in 1 NIGHT!! Whilst still spending time with my kids, with my friends AND with my wife… Good times.

Have you ever eaten so much that your back hurt?

 For some reason today I have been hungry non stop. I had a breakfast burrito from jack in the box for breakfast, then I got to work and found we had Dunkin Donuts so I had a sour cream donut, then a coworker brought me in a chicken biscuit from chick-fil-a. That was all by 10am, so then on lunch I ran an errand and met some coworkers at Salsaritas where I had a Steak queso burrito with chips and salsa, then in the afternoon I had a Chocolate donut, and for dinner I had Outback Steakhouse cheese fries a wedge salad a baked potato and the 9oz filet crusted with blue cheese. That is like a 4 thousand calorie day…

I feel like this guy right now

So, now I am making plans for tomorrow. Coaching Baseball all morning and then I will be doing intensive yard work all day. Mowing, edging, and weeding. Trimming my trees and bushes back and working in my garden. If I keep my self less than 2K calories and do all the work I have on my list I should be able to offset today.  And at least be back on track to getting into shape.

I can look like him, I just need the girl... 

After a huge dinner, with a few drink specials in me, getting in my car and driving home was the most I have wanted a cigarette in weeks. The full stomach, the warm evening air, being in my car, having a few drinks in me... That was a little piece of hell.

 Uggg I am going to go sleep off these margaritas.

3 margaritas

Not a great night.

So yesterday after work I stopped by my neighborhood pool to meet with the head guard and a repair guy who was coming out to tell us why the pool was so cloudy. He had just got there so we had to wait for him to check some things, and while we were waiting the guard lit up a cigarette. This was my first random run in with a smoker right next to me since I quit.

Smokes taste better on hot days  ;(

I was cool, I acted like it happened all the time and was no big deal. Honestly the smell of the smoke didn’t tempt me at all, it smelled kind of funky. It was watching someone engage in an activity that I am working so hard to deny my self. Like seeing someone eat cake when you are on a diet.  

I'd take a bite of THAT.

But I made it through, it wasn’t so much that it made me want a smoke, I was just really anxious being in that situation for the first time.

Not much else going on right now, but i do have t-ball practice tonight and it is supposed to be  95 degrees out. I am barely going to be able to have the kids do anything... But maybe a few of the hot moms will be in sun dresses... 

You know who loves Sun dresses?

Taylor Swift

Kristin Davis

Katy Perry

Good weekend!

I am up to season 3 of Dr Who and I just realized I am supposed to be watching the Torchwood series right now… Dam the BBC and there blending of the two shows! But it’s all good, I like the stories they use. It is funny that the Brits sci-fi tends to lean a little more towards the “Horror” genre then American sci-fi does. 

I used the Dr as my relaxation time this weekend... between trips to the pool and shopping with my wife… I spent over 3 hours each day this long weekend in the pool with the kids and I am TIRED! I was a little sad yesterday as most of the girls at the pool were your standard suburban house wives and not the hotties I was hoping for. 

To much of THIS

 

Not enough of this

I made it another whole weekend with out a smoke… My last drag was late in the night of May 13^th (possibly technically may 14^th) so it has been 17 days. Smoke free.

2 WEEKS
    * Circulation improves
    * Walking becomes easier
    * Lung function increases up to 30 percent

Blow me indeed!

And for todays random thought:

When we were kids playing our Nintendos and the game wouldn't work we pulled it out and blew into the cartridge... then we tried it again... 

How did every kid int he world know how to do that? There was no internet or email, no youtube videos or FAQs, we didn't text our friends or watch G4tv... But we all did the same thing...

Today's kids are WEAK!

Day 37

A question I have been asked several times lately is whether blogging about not smoking is making me think about the fact that I am not smoking…. And if all this thinking about not smoking is making me want to smoke!

Short answer is NO. (If you don’t care then skip to the section after the video)

Longer answer is that when I was smoking I thought about smokeing and how I should quit 20 – 40 times a day, I couldn’t go an hour without one of those two thoughts running through my head. “I should go get a smoke” or “I need to quit smoking” or “I only have 4 smokes left, can I make it till I get out at 5pm?” or “Maybe I can quit after this next holiday”… as I look at it now it was non stop! This blog is a personal retrospective on the things that are different and a reaffirmation of all of the changes for the better going on in my life right now… 

Could I have spent over an hour messing with my bosses pens the other day if I still smoked… Probably not, because I would have stopped to have a smoke instead of getting his pens. Could I have made it through the whole hour long cardio class last night if I was still smoking… I probably would have coughed up a lung! Would I have noticed the oddly hot tomboyish girls that work at my home depot… Nope I would have rushed out to my car to have a smoke.  So I couldn’t be happier everyday spending a few minutes typing up about all of the things I can do now that my mind is not tied up stressing about my next nicotine fix.

Ok enough of all of that introspective shit…

Hooters!

Juggs!

A nice pair!

Boobies!... Wait... that's not right

Boobies!... Awww WTF!

Boobies!  SOB, your not even trying anymore.

 .....

Day 36

So today on lunch I grabbed some fast food and stopped at the gas station.
While this may not seam like much to you, for me it was a two or three time a week ritual I went though until recently... It used to be that I needed to run to the gas station to buy smokes, so I would stop on the way back from lunch. Today I just needed some soda, but standing in that line, I tell you what, it was all I could do not to ask for a pack...

No smoke for me!

But I did not falter; I survived that little battle and got back to my car with just the soda I went in for (and a pack of M&Ms). But man it totally rattled me all afternoon. I thought of smoking more today then I did even when I WAS smoking.

On top of that tonight is my first group fitness class at the gym. Apparently there will be hip hop music that I will be told how to dance to... this should end poorly for everyone involved.

Ya, kinda like this...

But it is what I have to do if I don't want to get fatter!

The good news is that I have seen some of the girls in the class...

She may or may not be in the class...

Ahhh this is a good day.

First, I didn’t even think about having a smoke today until I started writing this post (yay!) and I am sure the craving will be gone before I finish typing ;)

Second and most importantly, I AM WINNING!

My dastardly plan unfolds before my very eyes:

I was sitting in the customer service offices when my boss walked in to talk to one of the ladies up there and I noticed that he had in his hand a pen, not just any pen but one of the ones from his pen jar... (For background please read this) So I waited and watched… and what to my wondering eyes should appear but him trying to write a note and the pen dying mid sentence!!! AWESOME! It was all I could do not to have a huge dopey grin on my face. But as I was walking away I heard him say “That’s the 2^nd pen that died on me today…” If my back wasn’t to him he would have seen my face light up like a Christmas tree in one of that sappy lifetime movies!

Ya, all that open flame is real safe...

Third, Our secretary made fresh cookies for us today! Chocolate chip toll house.

You see folks, this is all it takes to make me happy, the little things… 

And sometimes big things....

Day 31...

I didn't sleep very well again last night, and was snippy with my family this morning.

Another grumpy dad

I made an omelet for breakfast and it didn't taste very good so I gave it to the dog.

At least the dog was happy

I was out of soda at home so I had to wait until I got to work to get one.
(I like my caffeine cold not hot)

My smoking is nothing compared to my soda addiction.

I have a ton of work to do and can barely keep my eyes open….

All in all today really sucks.... The only good news is that I don't think having a smoke would make it any better...

Day 30

Another night with out smoking…

It feels odd, I totally think I am missing out on things that I used to be part of… no more standing out side for a while with the my buddies drinking a beer and having a smoke or 2. No more random meetings with friends and neighbors as they come and go when I was outside getting a puff. Seeing people walking their dogs or jogging by, I feel like I am less a part of the community already and it’s only been 2 weeks since I began seriously cutting back.

Home alone

Its funny, the daytime is no problem and the evenings seam to be fine, it is 10pm at night when everyone else is in bed, I am finishing up my game or some TV and still habitually want to go have a smoke. I know it is not a physiological urge, it is all habit… but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with  ;)

I wonder what kind of dog Pavlov had...

So I will just have a drink of a tall glass of water and go to bed...

72 hours +

Last night around 11pm was the 72 hour mark sense my last smoke... I can do this.

I have faith

NOW,
It seams some of you really like me messing with my boss so you will be happy to know that when I got here this morning I was pulling into the parking deck and I saw a great spot...just 4 cars down from my bosses car... So as I walked past his car I "accidentally" dropped my pen on the ground. When I stooped down to get it, I unscrewed the fill cap from his tire and pushed my pen top on the pin... Only for 3 - 5 seconds... just enough to drop it from the standard 35psi down to probably 20 - 25ish...

One of two things should happen, he will lose gas mileage OR he will notice it is low and think it is leaking, taking it in to get looked at will cost him 10 - 30 bucks just to find out that it is fine  ;)

Safety First

The best laid plans...

So i followed through on my plan to drink my self "Too drunk to drive" on Friday... and it worked like a charm until my neighbor came over to hang out and had some smokes on him. At that point my will power was just about zero so i had 3 smokes with him while we played corn hole into the night.

Throw a bag full of corn at a board with a hole in it...  You sick puppies

The little things are starting to change...  

I haven't tapped my pocket and looked around me desk for my smokes today!

I ate lunch and drove back to work with out even thinking about a smoke!

WIN!

But sadly this all comes at a cost… before bed last night I pulled one from my safety net…  it is funny how guilty it made me feel after words…

Lose

But today is a new day!  It was just 1 little trip up, wont happen again!

Lets talk about happier things, like:

Today I got to work kind of early and my boss was not here yet, so I went in his office and moved his desk about 1 inch towards his chair. I don’t know if you have ever sat at a desk for a long time but a little change like that will throw you off for days. If he notices it he will just assume the cleaning crew did it  ;)

Suggestions for tomorrow?

Ill pay you in pretty girls… 

See that banner at the top of the page?

Ya, that banner up there... I made that for right now...
This sucks…
My boss was a bit of a dick at work today…
This is when I used to do most of my smoking…
I got nothing to do that’s interesting enough to take my mind off it…

So I guess ill use ya’ll as my coping mechanism…

Day 22

Well I made it.

As it stands my last smoke was Sunday night at about 10:25
It is now Tuesday Morning at 10:20... Between then and now?
20 minutes
    Your blood pressure, pulse rate, and the temperature of your hands and feet will all return to normal.
8 hours
    Remaining nicotine in your bloodstream will have fallen to 6.25% of normal peak daily levels, a 93.25% reduction.
12 hours
    Your blood oxygen level will have increased to normal and carbon monoxide levels will have dropped to normal.
24 hours
    Anxieties peak in intensity and within two weeks should return to near pre-cessation levels.

Hunger

So, smoking does 2 things to the body, first it acts as a mild stimulant, increasing heart rate and breathing. This is a small part of what makes it addictive. That tiny little rush, when magnified over 20 - 30 cigarettes a day (for pack+ a day smoker) equals upwards of 300 - 400 extra calories burned. But Nicotine is also has a natural appetite suppressant side effect. So when you are smoking you are burning extra calories and wanting to eat less.

Day 21 and a half

Well, the dreaded after lunch and 2:30 cravings came and went...
Not that bad actually...
I have to coach my kids t-ball practice after work today so that will get me until 7, and we eat right when we get home so that’s almost 8pm tonight before I get the after meal craving again…
I am going to try and do something different tonight then I usually do in the evenings... 
I don’t know what yet…

Day 21

Quit day

What you see here is a picture I took last night right before bed.

It is the last pack of smokes I will ever open. The plan is that I QUIT today, no more smoking at all... but if it gets to hard I have this 20 pack safety net but when its gone its gone no more safety net.

Day 19

So I am not sure if yesterday was a win or not... I think I might have to go with it being a wash.

I left my smokes at home and then took my kids out to dinner after work (A Mexican place to celibate Cinco de Mayo), so I didn't get my first smoke of the day until right about 7pm... but between 7pm and 11pm when I went to bed I managed to burn down 9 smokes... that's more then I had all day 2 days ago when I spaced them out...

Oh well I left my smokes at home again today… I guess at least I can say I will never smoke at work again  ;)

Jerry.......

I keep taping my left pocket… and then looking around my desk.

I used to keep my smokes in my left pocket or on my desk

It is almost 2:30 and I have had a smoke at 2:30 every day for almost 8 years now….

Oh well just another habit I need to break.

I figured I would fight this urge with some random thoughts off the top of my head.

Day 14.5

Seriously WTF... now i know why they call it a Habit...

So I had to run an errand on lunch, I go all morning with out a smoke. I run over to the car dealership to pick up a part. I meet a friend for lunch. I get back in my car to head back to work and half way down the road I realize I have lit a cigarette!
I was running a little late and was focused on what way I wanted to get back to the office to avoid any traffic slow downs and my mind just did what it has done for so many years and lit a smoke.. I was on my 2nd drag before I realized it and threw it out the window!!!

This is going to be a bigger pain then I thought….